Part 1 – How I learned to drop everything and nap – parenting edition

Having a kid means that life as you previously knew it is over. It’s a new chapter and you must adjust accordingly.

The first thing that gets adjusted is your sleep pattern. Gone are the lazy weekends, the long lie ins, the ability to hit the snooze button for that extra fifteen minutes, and any endings to any dreams you may have wanted to finish (like the one about the cute federal agent who is helping you save the world from zombies and looks great in a tux).

Now before I get into anything, I will gladly state that I am lucky when it comes to the sleeping “through the night” portion of babydom. Now let me explain that sleeping during the night isn’t an 8 hour affair, it’s 4-6 with a 20-30 feeding in between and another 20-30 to get baby back to sleep deeply enough to transfer her back to the crib. Then getting up to turn the coffee maker on for your husband and filling up any bottles that you have (because you ran the dishwasher the night before). If you’re like me, then you also know that just because you put the kid down it doesn’t mean that you’re not going to be awake for another 10-15 minutes making sure that baby doesn’t wake up.

Yes. I’m that neurotic.

I’m not going to complain, I get at least 4-5 hours of sleep at night plus two or three after her dawn feeding.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not tired.

As she gets older, she stays awake more. Besides the basics of feeding and changing, she needs to be played with, taken outside, and taught (or at least the beginnings of teaching things).

So I’ve taken into account what doctors and other moms have told me: Sleep when the baby sleeps.

At first I thought I was going to be supermom. The first week taking care of Kid Cusack by myself, there was no napping for me. I was a little too nervous. The following few weeks I tried to tidy up during the day.

About week five or six I realized my folly. I couldn’t live on three cups of coffee a day and still expect to take care of my kid without wanting to fall on my face. photo gifdeanbored_zpsd9614b08.gif

So, after a month and a half, I would nap when she napped.

The point is. Nap when you can. Especially if you don’t have any help. Otherwise, you’ll struggle to simple things like brush your teeth. Or pee.

Or play with your kid. Or string together a sentence.

I think you get my point.

Nap!

 

 

Advertisements

I made a mistake. Birthing video trauma

I really did.

My husband was away for a few days for a bachelor party and I was home by myself. The HG is back and I’m on the phone with my mother-in-law. We’re talking about HG support groups. I’m on one over at babycenter and she joined one on Facebook (because she’s awesome), so I’m clicking around on babycenter and lalalala….a video starts. Some innocuous video about giving birth, it was animated and so I wasn’t that grossed out.

I mean, we’ve all seen the Miracle of Life at some point (thank you high school health class).

So, I’m talking and tooling around and I come across Epidural: Live Birth. Now, being the bonehead I am, I assume it’s about giving an epidural. You see, I’m due in about 7 weeks and I know that I want the drugs. I want ALL the drugs.

I’m also not a fan of needles. Or needles near my spine. So I thought, ok. I’ll watch this.

*insert mocking laughter*

Oh my naivete knows no bounds.

The video was actuallyabout a small gray alien trying to come out of a small expandable fleshy keyhole.

I screamed. I wish I had been screaming and yelling because I was trying to make a joke. Alas, that was my first reaction. I do believe the first words were “oh shit. Oh God. Oh Fuck” and a litany of other curses and deity invoking phrases.

There was a baby coming out of a woman’s vagina. That is something that I have to do in 7 weeks!!!!

I felt sick, my mother in law is cracking up and my poor neighbors probably think I’m being murdered.

I’m traumatized.

I’m also sort of annoyed that I didn’t get to see the epidural but had to watch …. that.

Listen. Some people love pregnancy and having babies and feel some sort of Earth Goddess vibe. I don’t.

I’m terrified and scared and omg there’s something that’s about 7 pounds and 20 some odd inches that has to come out of the place where things usually go in. Things that are a lot slimmer and shorter.

Note to any expectant mothers. If you’re like me, skip the birthing videos and just concentrate on the fact that you’ll be getting drugs. Lots of them.

And just lie to yourself about the complete mess that is happening down there and keep thinking, I’ll get a kid out of this. I’ll get my kid.

Restarting

all-these-buttons-to-restart-press-all-of-them

 

Well hello there. How’ve you been? I’ve been …. ok.

I wanted to let you know that this blog is going to possibly go in a different direction. What?!

Yeah. Not only am I taking forever to post, I’m telling you that there will be changes.

I’m a jerk.

There will be actual posts written by other people about things like dating, food, art and just general mayhem.

I’ll be writing about parenthood (because how can I not?), writing and reading and there will be more baking.

This is an eclectic place, this little corner of the web and I plan on keeping that way but with the added chaos (the good kind) in my personal life I’m gonna need some help.

So starting very soon, there will be posts and pics and did I mention mayhem?

I hope you’ll stick around a little longer.

Again, I apologize for the crazy lateness of updating.

I’m still here

please-stand-by

Hi all!

I’m not dead I promise. I’m just

PREGNANT!

First time pregnant, long time sister.

The reason why I haven’t been able to post is because I have hyperemesis

In short (via Wikipedia):

Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) is a severe, debilitating nausea and vomiting in pregnancy that generally leads to more than 5 percent weight loss and may require fluid and nutritional supplement. It is different from the more common nausea and vomiting known as morning sickness.[citation needed] Dehydration, malnutrition, and other serious complications are the result of the “unrelenting, excessive pregnancy-related nausea and/or vomiting that prevents adequate intake of food and fluids.”[1] Hyperemesis is considered a rare complication of pregnancy but, because nausea and vomiting during pregnancy exist on a continuum, there is often not a good diagnosis between common morning sickness and hyperemesis. Estimates of the percentage of pregnant women afflicted range from 0.3% to 2%.[2]

That’s what I got. It’s a bitch. That’s why I haven’t been able to look at a computer for very long without getting sick.

SO please bear with me for a little while longer. I have to think of some more content, maybe change some colors and possibly ask some people to help out. I’m gonna be popping out a child in five months, you guys will need to be entertained. All 11 of you ;D

Weekends are made for video games

I miss this baby

 

Hello All! Happy Monday *eyeroll*

I hate Mondays. There is nothing happy about a Monday ever unless it’s 11:59pm.

So anyhoo, this weekend was calm. Borderlands 2 was played every night except for Sunday and this mainly because the husband watches Dexter, Homeland & Walking Dead and I go into the bedroom and read. Or watch American Dad.

I didn’t go to ComicCon this year and it is a sore subject so we will not discuss that. I made awesome choco chip cookies without brown sugar and with a vanilla bean sugar.

Also, I have started putting out feelers for volunteering. I love my house but I hate being in it all the time. I want to do something valuable with my time if I’m not getting paid for work.

So there ya go. The weekend in a nutshell.

What was your highlight this weekend?

Borderlands 2…not your Mama’s video games

 

Setting

Five years have passed since the events of Borderlands, when four vault hunters located Eridian Vault and confronted an eldritch abomination known as “The Destroyer”. After defeating and sealing The Destroyer once more, the vault hunters left to parts unknown, but a valuable mineral called “Eridian” start flourishing through Pandora’s crust, bringing the attention of the Hyperion Coporation and its leader Handsome Jack who sets for the planet to secure this new resource. Since then Handsome Jack rules over the inhabitants of Pandora with an iron fist from his massive supply base built in the shape of an “H” on Pandora’s moon. The base is always visible, and can deploy Hyperion forces to any point on Pandora. Meanwhile, rumors of another, bigger vault hidden in Pandora spread across the galaxy, drawing a new group of vault hunters to the planet in search for it.

Plot

The game begins with four vault hunters lured to a trap by Handsome Jack inside a train and left for dead amid a snowy, frozen landscape, only to be rescued by a ClapTrap robot, who guides them to safety. Soon after, the vault hunters have a vision of the Guardian Angel from the first game who instructs them to meet the members of a resistance movement opposing Handsome Jack’s tyranny.”  – Wikipedia

 

I have been waiting for Borderlands 2 – for PS3 –  to come out since I finished the first one. I mean, I didn’t know there would be a sequel but I hoped. Then when I heard the announcement about a year ago I started doing my happy dance and proceeded to countdown the days (not really but it sounds dramatic enough).

The original game was actually one of the first games my husband and myself played together and really enjoyed. I played as Lilith and he, Mordecai (I believe). We spent a lot of our weekends and evenings playing this game. When we beat it, we both did happy dances.

Purchasing Borderlands on it’s release date here in NYC, I had plans to play it with him but of course, real life intervened. We finally cracked it open yesterday and let me tell you, it’s gorgeous. A gorgeous game with awesome voice acting. The only issue is getting used to the map/lvl up/armory/mission screen.  It’s a bit of a pain in the ass and with the split level screens seemingly smaller, it’s hard to view as one whole chunk. There’s a lot of scrolling. We didn’t get very far because it was late and my husband had to go to work this morning so we played for about two hours and beat the first two missions.

So far: The human bad guys seem to be the same so far but the missions are a little harder. Also, there’s a Cold Weather version of the Skaags – the bullymongs. Don’t let them get close my friends. Also, the adult ones, they throw freaking rocks. Bastards.

Anyhoo, I’ll keep you updated on the progress and any very interesting things I come across but if I’m missing for awhile, you’ll find me on my way to Sanctuary.

 

 

but I don’t want to be preemptively struck out

Image

The interwebz can be absolutely amazing. It’s the only place that you can get stuck in a Wikipedia or IMDB wormhole, which is great for trivia night at your local pub but not so great for your work productivity. It’s also the easiest place to meet strangers. Weird as that sounds, it’s true. More people are willing to talk to some stranger on the internet than their neighbor or that one guy you always see on the way to work. Why? You feel that there is an element of anonymity.

This is kind of hilarious because it’s not 1997 and it’s pretty easy to figure out who you’re talking to. Or who you’re about to hire.

According to CareerBuilder, in 2009 45% of jobs were checking out their potential hires on social media sites like Facebook and Twitter.

35% of employers didn’t hire candidates based on their online profile. So, you know maybe taking that picture of snorting heroine off a hooker’s ass wasn’t the best profile pic.  Perhaps your iNterneT Speek showed others why the education system was failing. If it wasn’t any of the above, it could be that when you said that you were a rocket scientist but all of your pictures, interests, and friends comments prove otherwise, then you’re a liar. Companies don’t like that.

Any intelligent person can understand that potential employers want to check out what they’re getting into.

But is it legal?

I don’t have the answers to that, there are too many conflicting ideas and thoughts on the web and all my employment law litigator contacts are buried somewhere in a desk that I no longer sit at. I imagine that if it were, you would need to sign off on something like you do when potential jobs check your background.

My take? As long as it’s not illegal, inflammatory or harmful, who cares? Granted, everyone should take into consideration that the internet has a wide and broad audience and if you don’t want something to be blown up out of proportion, you shouldn’t post it but if you did, you shouldn’t be punished by a potential job.

If you can get into work on time, work solidly and be an integral part of your team what you do in your off hours are your business.  If your dumbass friend took that picture of you passed out while your other friend drew a large penis on your forehead, it shows that you might have considerable lack of judgment when it comes to friends but it doesn’t mean you can’t boot up a computer and write a killer proposal.

There should still be a thing as something as off limits when it comes to jobs. They have you for about 8 hours a day for about 48 weeks of the year. If you want to blow off steam in a manner fitting your personality then it’s none of their business.

I have personally seen candidates not get hired based on their Facebook profiles. I tried to persuade him to call the person in but he merely shook his head and claimed that a person who is posting those kinds of party pictures would not be reliable.

I didn’t agree and my respect for that person went down considerably.

The other night I was at my local watering hole when I brought this subject up and randomly a guy next to me jumped into the conversation and said ‘yeah, I’ve not hired candidates based on their Facebook pages’.  I found that interesting and we started talking. I understood where he was coming from and we talked about ways to protect your identity and make certain things private but my argument was I shouldn’t even have to do that because what I do on my own time is my business.

The danger of checking someone’s social media pages can be vast. I’ve always wondered if ‘stupid party pictures’ was just a code for not agreeing with their age, race, political affiliation or their looks. It’s a kind of discrimination I think.  One that you can’t even sue for because you haven’t even been hired.

I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s not fair to be vetted by some unseen human resources assistant based on something that is supposed to be fun and not on your merit.

I hope this doesn’t cost me a job.

there is measure in everything

Image

DON PEDRO

Will you have me, lady?

BEATRICE

No, my lord, unless I might have another for
working-days: your grace is too costly to wear
every day. But, I beseech your grace, pardon me: I
was born to speak all mirth and no matter.

DON PEDRO Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best
becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in
a merry hour.

Much Ado About Nothing by Shakespeare is my favorite play. I feel a strong affinity with Beatrice, the feisty and witty heroine of this play. She is at turns vulnerable and strong, full of mirth or deeply aggrieved and she does it all with a grace and an elegance that is both natural and memorable.

But enough about that, this blog isn’t about Beatrice or Shakespeare although they both might creep in from time to time. No, this is a blog about writing, about our society, and about whatever happens to pop into my head. If you want an academic blog there are others out there and if you are looking for the news, may I point you toward Gawker. If you want to laugh or commiserate about writer’s block or even grouse about the latest gaffes in politics or science fiction (I’m an equal opportunity writer) then stick around.

LEONATO

You will never run mad, niece.

BEATRICE No, not till a hot January.